Unconcluded Reality

Kaila
3 min readAug 11, 2021

Past, present, and future all begin within a space.

My physical spaces don’t align with the space my mind wanders off to. This makes me question happiness, and whether it is actually achievable, or if it is just a momentary feeling that flees when you open your eyes.

Space allows us the opportunity to wonder; it gives our minds the ability to release any inhibitions. When we wonder, when we daydream, there’s a brief sense of pure freedom. The chains to society are gone.

Lately, space is something I feel like I’m just taking up.

I find myself often questioning my purpose.

I’ve always been afraid of being alone, but my social anxieties have sky-rocketed over the last year. Between heartbreak, surgeries, and work uncertainties, I found myself craving human connection, but too afraid to pursue it. This fear created a new sense of space.

Recently, I learned that if I fill my arena with my past, I won’t have the opportunity to fill it with my present or future. What I mean is, some things are better left behind you.

If you keep trying to fill a void, whether that’s someone or something, the only thing you’ll succeed at is regression.

The moment you stop dwelling on yesterday is the moment you can cherish today.

You can’t expect to carry all of your life’s suitcases with each passing year.

You’ll relapse and collapse.

We need space in our lives for appreciation, for change, for emotion, and for growth.

Space is what allows us to create our watermark within time.

What we do with our space is our metaphorical stamp in the world.

I’m trying to be purposeful with the space I occupy.

I’m starting to embrace my space, and not feel like I’m just merely existing. I’m finding a new sense of freedom with my space. Previously I found myself constantly working to define my territory in this world, but I don’t think that’s up to me anymore. I can define the area I exist in for me, but someone else’s interpretation of my field is not something I have the ability to control.

A lesson I learned in past spaces is to let go of what is out of my control.

I’m still experimenting with space. Like a plant that outgrows its first home, I finally feel like I am ready to flourish in a bigger pot…because I’ve outgrown my current one.

A hard concept to grasp is that I alone am responsible for transferring into my next pot, my next space.

I think it’s natural to be afraid of space. The butterfly effect thrives within space. Every action produces a reaction. In order for society to continue to grow, we need room for decision making, for weighing the what-if scenarios, and for acknowledging change and the impacts of our actions.

I’ve learned that without space, there’s stagnance.

Stagnancy is antithetical to evolution.

Space is limitless, but limitations suppress fear. The unknown is often approached with trepidation.

Space can be terrifying. Will I lose something or someone if I take space? If I don’t take space, will I lose myself?

Space is necessary.

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